Raining Teardrops (part 5)

       I tapped the corner of my spatula impatiently against the granite countertop as the pancake batter sizzled in the black pan on the stove.  I tried in vain to ignore Dan's sniffles over on the couch in the living room.  It helped that by facing the stove my back happened to be turned away from him.  I needed time to think of an alibi while away from his pained brown eyes.
       The butter beneath Dan's pancake stopped foaming, telling me it was cooked to perfection on the other side.  I quickly grabbed the box of Malteasers from the counter and sprinkled as many as possible onto the surface of the batter.  I admit, it was a strange combination, but it was somehow his favorite.  Dan needed the comfort food right now.  I dug my spatula under the pancake and tried to flip it over as carefully as possible, but only managed to splatter the uncooked batter across the pan.  At least I didn't make a pancake omelet this time.
With a deep breath, I placed the food on Dan's favorite plastic plate that had Pokemon on it.  Even though we were both a few years into university, Dan could name each Pokemon, it's evolutions and strongest moves.  
        Dan was huddled into the furthest corner of the couch with a blanket wrapped around him like a cocoon.  He stared intently at the tv.  My heart sank as I realized the tv wasn't even on.  I sat down gently next to Dan and placed my hand on his shoulder.  
        "Dan honey, I made you pancakes.  Malteazers and everything!  I even used your favorite plate!" I said in what I hoped was a cheery voice.  It seemed to take Dan a moment to register what I had said, but slowly he unfurled his body and placed his feet firmly on the ground.  I could easily see how tense he was.  I gently placed the plate in his lap and reached across him to place a fork in his left hand.  Gradually his face came back to life and he looked down at his food.  A faint smile stretched across his face when he saw the splattered, distorted mess of a pancake I had presented him with.  
        "So this is why you always have me flip the pancakes, huh?" Dan joked halfheartedly.  I forced a nervous laugh, relieved to see some of the Dan I knew and loved again.  
        "You caught me!" I teased, "Let me get you a glass of milk.  I'll be right back." I placed a gentle kiss on my boyfriend's forehead and hurried back into the kitchen.  I poured the milk into a tall glass and carried it to the Pockey tin.  I screwed the lid off the jar and went to grab a stick to place in his glass when I noticed a yellow piece of notebook paper.  I smoothed out the crumpled sheet to reveal a blank page.  Confused, I flipped it over to see two words that had been scribbled down in sloppy handwriting.  Racketball court
         I silently sucked in a sharp breath.  It was Rose's handwriting.  I had been so distracted by Dan's troubles I hadn't even thought about where Rose had gone.  My hands were shaking.  What if she was in trouble?  What if they found her again?  She shouldn't be on her own anymore, they were all watching too closely.  I was already paranoid someone might have seen her on the streets of London when she first came here.  How could I be so stupid?  How could she be so stupid?
        As quickly as I could I formed an alibi in my head and dumped the last of the Pocky into the trash can as quietly as I could.  I then picked up Dan's glass of milk and the empty Pocky tin and walked over to Dan, trying to pull a poker face over the panic I was feeling.  Dan smiled at me, seeming so much more himself and reached over the couch to take the glass of milk from me.  "No Pocky stick?"
        "We ran out.  I'm just gonna run to the market across the street and get some." I turned the pocky tin upside down hoping to emphasize my point and only managed to dump a few broken pieces of Pockey onto the floor.  I frowned at my stupidity but felt instantly better when it made Dan chuckle.  
        "Alright Phil, hurry back." he smiled, lowering his voice seductively and giving me a little wink.  I couldn't help but walk back over to him, place my free hand lightly on the back of his head, and kiss him on the lips.  At first the kiss was seductive, like Dan's earlier words had been, but soon the pain and anger and heartbreak we each felt surfaced in our joined lips.  Some silly part of me had thought Dan had been getting better, but it was only his mask that was getting better.  Inside he was still that boy who had broken down to tears in my arms as he cries over his lost love.  The pain in our kiss reminded me of my mission and I gently pulled away from Dan, letting my kiss linger.  The ending to our kiss didn't feel right so I decided to leave a soft peck on his forehead.  I felt his body tremble.  Part of me wanted to stay here and hold him through all his pain and heartbreak and to never leave him alone, but I knew there were things I had to take care of.  I walked away with my hand trailing down his arm.  When my hand brushed his, I thought for a moment that he would snatch it in his, just like they do in the movies.  If he had I don't think I could have resisted staying with him.  I would have turned around and forgotten all about Rose because all I wanted was for my troubles to disappear.  I wanted to be a kid again where you could get away with ignoring what was going wrong.  I felt my heart soar when his hand twitched like he was about to grab it, but it slowly sank when he allowed it to just glide past.  There was nothing that hurt me more than knowing Dan was in pain.  All I wanted was to hold him and kiss him and make his pain go away.  But I continued towards the door and did my best not to look back.  If I had, I might not have been strong enough to leave.